You and your partner have decided to get pregnant. You’re ready, willing and able. But with this life-changing goal looming over you, the romance is fading fast. The pressure’s on and sex is starting to feel like a chore. What can you do to make it fun again? Here are some things to keep in mind when fertility takes center stage.
Relax. When your focus shifts from sexual enjoyment to results, tension can build. Stress doesn’t enhance fertility.
Take the focus off pregnancy and put it on your relationship. Don’t make your time together “all about the sex.” Instead, do things you both enjoy. Take walks, enjoy a couples massage, play games, take a drive, go out to dinner and a movie. This can put the romance and fun back into your love life.
Get in the mood. Remember the basics of foreplay. Massage, romantic music, sexy lingerie and “toys” can help make the tedious tantalizing again. Enjoy a sexy movie together in bed. But don’t overdo the hot-tub or drink too much alcohol. Both can reduce your ability to conceive. Also, avoid using lubricants. Some can kill sperm.
Work out. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Exercise regularly (but don’t be obsessive). Eat healthy and don’t smoke. These basic things can be a boost to your physical well-being. They can also improve your mood, which can have a trickle-down effect.
Take a break. Sometimes you need to get your mind off baby-making for a while. Be sure to keep nourishing your outside friendships and activities. Make plans that don’t center around pregnancy or baby-making. Give each other some time and space to recharge.
Be patient. For many couples (even the most fertile), conception can take several months or more of trying. Don’t expect overnight results.
Finally, before you try to conceive, it’s a good idea to check with your doctor. Make sure you both are starting out healthy. Discuss any medications or health conditions you have and make sure you are doing all you can to have a healthy pregnancy.